Halfbloods at Walmart
by SisterOfAnElvenWannabe
Summary: Percy and the gang get hold of a things to do at walmart list hilarity will follow please R&R by the way if you read ch. 2 before 11/10/09 at 4.09 go back and reread it first half is same but i added to it
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Percy Jackson

~Chapter 1: The list~

Percy POV

Hey guys I said walking up to my friends look what I found. I showed them the list I was holding:

101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them  
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals  
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get  
to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the  
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW,  
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I  
think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what  
happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off  
and turn the volumes to "10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen  
you in so long!…" etc. See if they play along to avoid  
embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask  
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk,  
anyway?"

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're  
taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about  
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the  
department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store  
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look  
mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll  
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from  
the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around  
saying,"…I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"  
upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,  
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired  
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any  
Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale  
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from  
"Mission: Impossible."

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while  
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I  
need some tampons!!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to  
your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet  
food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the  
restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at  
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker,  
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those  
voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and  
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain  
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little  
umbrella in it.

52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your  
head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the  
mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run  
between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror  
while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes.  
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly  
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act  
as spastic as possible.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and  
women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with  
various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse  
through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare  
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you  
and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is  
breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you  
do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was  
another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME  
darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto  
the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people  
out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and  
begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of  
shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the  
boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every  
perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another  
girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way.  
"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy  
shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way.  
"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of  
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean  
in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front  
of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the  
perfume!!"

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly  
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left  
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the  
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like  
crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was  
the biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!!  
Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat.  
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a  
prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to  
people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your  
friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those  
electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they  
don't know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for  
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend  
that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over  
wanting to use it, start barking at them until  
they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind  
customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your  
friend.

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say  
"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter  
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of  
french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say  
"Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you  
say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from  
Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like  
everyone else your know. You digust me" Then walk away  
mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-  
like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people  
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all  
your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your  
"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern  
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old  
girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should  
sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly  
good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta  
Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.

85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms  
and legs around like your having some kind of massive  
seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the  
store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to  
leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your  
walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to  
go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then  
quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away  
as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger,  
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while  
singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn  
around.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while,  
start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just  
stay mesmerized.

(you'll have to that one grover none of us could)

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in  
my head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap your  
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming  
"NO!!! I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO  
NO NO NO!!!!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the  
eyes, and Calmly say "I…will start…a fire…" The pull out a  
zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don't  
light the zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a spinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I  
warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get  
my shot gun". Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my  
god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him.  
Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then  
walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.

98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a  
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as  
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your  
watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get  
paid enough to do this"

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen  
my mommy?"

101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

"So" I asked "should we do it?" "Yeah that's awesome" said Grover.

Review or I'll set Cerberus on you. Just kidding but please review. 


	2. Chapter 2: Carts!

Disclaimer: We sang this song in choir and I changed the words a bit: I don't have hopes and dreams and I don't have plans and schemes I_______________ don't have anything since I don't have the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the rights to Percy Jackso______n ok songs over i also don't own Wal-Mart or the list

Chapter 2: Carts

Annabeth POV

We arrived at Wal-Mart and Percy took out his list. The people there were Percy, Grover, Clarisse, and I. I have know idea why Clarisse came. "So, what's the first thing on that list Seaweed Brain?" I asked Percy. He struggled for a moment then handed to Grover saying, "Here, you read it"

"Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them  
and stranding them at strategic locations." read Grover.

So we each took a shopping cart and walked in to the store. I walked to the food aisle and began piling bags of chips, pasta, cans of soup and many other things into my cart.

Then I walked to the middle of the store. Percy arrived there with a cart full of toys. Grover had clothes in his cart and Clarisse had pet supplies in hers.

"Hey let's make a big X in the middle of the store" said Percy.

We kept taking and filling carts until we had a huge X in the middle of the store.

Just after we finished a guy came into the store and went to get a cart. When he saw that there wasn't any left he asked me if I knew where any were. I said "Nope. No idea" then I ran off laughing.

We all met up at the front of the store. "what's the next thing on the list punk?" Clarisse asked Grover. " Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store." he read.

We all ran to the electronic carts. We each grabbed one and hopped on.

"Hey Annabeth" Percy called ,grinning, "Let's race"

"Your on, Seaweed Brain" I said. We raced the little carts down the aisle as fast as they would go.

I reached the end of the aisle first. "I won" I shouted. He stuck his tongue out at me.

We all rode the little carts for a while longer. Then a sales lady came over to us

"please get off the carts or I'll have to ask you to leave" she said calmly but I could tell she wanted to yell at us.

We got off the carts and put them at the front of the store. Then we all grinned and high-fived each other.

"That was awesome!" exclaimed Percy. "Yeah" said Grover nodding enthusiastically

"Hey I have an idea" I said for the rest of them why don't we split up so we can do them faster. After we've all done ours we can meet at the front of the store.

Everyone agreed that we should do that.

Review or face my wrath Mwuhahaha nah just kidding but seriously review 


End file.
